Two sheets, two pitchers of water, classical music (tape), and a tape player.
Practice! This skit is guaranteed to bring even the most dificult crowd to its knees. It is best performed by two or more high profile members of the group. The two “Grecian Fountains” must be able to keep from smiling for maximum effect.
The two actors walk to the front of the stage, wearing the sheets as togas. For added effect, they may be wearing their swim trunks underneath along with hiking boots and mismatched socks, or a crown of leaves.
One announces, in the most sarcastically sophisticated voice he can muster, that the two are well known members of the “Grecian Fountains” Dance Society. The two take up their positions at opposite sides of the stage as the music begins. After a few measures, one “Fountain” begins taking slow, graceful steps in time with the music. He moves gradually towards the other “Fountain”.
When he is near the audience, he stops, faces sideways, and takes a long drink from his pitcher. He then begins spitting the water out of his mouth in a long, steady stream. When he is finished he freezes as the other “Fountain” begins a similar promenade, ending with another stream of water.
The next rotation becomes a little more artistic as the Fountains stand gracefully on one foot while spitting, or whatever other classical moves they can imagine. Eventually, one Fountain approaches his stoic counterpart, drinks the water, and releases a steady stream on his friend’s feet. The wet-footed Fountain makes a slow circling approach around the other, and may release a stream directly onto his friend’s chest. (A face shot is great if you can talk your Scouts into it!)
You get the idea. There are a dozen ways to ham this one up. The ending usually results with one Fountain graciously pouring the remaining contents of his pitcher onto the other Fountain’s head. Neither Fountain should ever smile or show anything but the most serious expression he can muster.