Equipment
There will be two people in the skit: eccentric King Herold that’s a little too cheerful for his own good and a boring translator with a distinctive monotone voice. No other equipment necessary, but costumes like a flouresent colored shirt for “King Herold” and a formal tie for the translator are always a plus.
Preparation
This skit is best performed when the two characters have practiced and memorized their lines thoroughly. You’re going under the idea that a foreigner came to your council/state/troop and is going to thank your group by telling about his/her experiences. This particular version is for Minnesota residents where Scandinavian descendants tend to rule. Change it to fit your area as best as you can.
Action
(Translator formally walks out in front of crowd with King Herold not far behind, acting as if there was a little too much sugar in his breakfast.)
Translator (always monotone voice): Tonight we have a special guest. Would you please welcome King Herald of Norway. He has a message for all Minnesotans, but since he cannot speak formal American-English, I will translate for you. (motions toward King Herald) King Herald (always eccentric): Yada flurda fadida Norske!
Translator: Hello fellow Norwegians. King Herald: Ida flurda odda people. Translator: And members of other nationalities.
King Herald: Undu Bozos.
Translator: And Swedes.
King Herald: Uda flurda wa hoota furla.
Translator: It’s been a ball to be here in Minnesota.
King Herald: Here a furlakina nisatood,
Translator: I have enjoyed your hospitality,
King Herald: Ufda Hehickta lefsa lutefisk YEACHCH!
Translator: But enough with the lefsa and lutefisk. (Note: for those of you who are fortunate enough not to know, lefsa and lutefisk are “traditional” Norwegian foods that are the equivalent of tasteless flatbread and salted Spam.)
King Herald: Ifa YEACHYEACHYEACH!!! (motions toward upchucking) Translator: We don’t eat that crap anymore either. King Herald: Yufda from McDonald?
Translator: Got a hamburger?
King Herald: Yufda flurta da mina furla shona hoola hoot huna.
Translator: My wife and I have enjoyed our stay in your state. King Herald: Kerna furna Mega Mallen. (grins) Translator: Especially our time at the Mall of America.
King Herald: Lafleur to fleur to creeps undu blads.
Translator: While there, I was invited to join a street gang.
King Herald: Yafda Down wit dat, homey.
Translator: (important: you MUST keep a straight face and monotone voice.) I’m down with that, homey.
King Herald: Yata hoota varna Minnesota Wilde.
Translator: Hey, how about those Minnesota Wild. (MN’s new hockey team)
King Herald (eyes wide and pound fist): Yata vernan Norska BANGA BANGA ahoona BANGA boota.
Translator: Nothing us Norwegians like better than a couple of North Americans beating the heck out of each other.
King Herald: (laughing) Hoo hoo hoo hoo!
Translator: (not laughing) Ha Ha Ha Ha.
King Herald: Ifda flurda kurta furta yata dayatsa Norway dodem into Olso.
Translator: If you don’t want them, we’ll take the Wild to Norway and put them in Olso.
King Herald: Kefluta Slow Boat to China.
Translator: We would call them the slow boat to China.
King Herald: Yufda flu? Olso boat to China? Hoo hoo hoo hoo!
Translator: Get it? Olso boat to China?
King Herald: Yasuita HULA HULA Smokin’
Translator: Somebody stop me, I’m on a roll.
King Herald: La leur day ra roor da ra dee.
Translator: I went to the rodeo the other day.
King Herald: Bootin’ Scootin’
Translator: We like to line dance.
King Herald: Hoota furla slapa leather.
Translator: We like to line dance.
King Herald: Hoota hoota furla toosh push.
Translator: We like to line dance.
King Herald: Ida enden furla yoke.
Translator: I’ll end with a joke.
King Herald: Yerfda furlen da winden blown eastern in Norway?
Translator: Why does the wind always blow to the east in Norway?
King Herald: pause Yurfda SVEDEM SUCKS!
Translator: Because Sweden inhales.
King Herald: Yufda flu lada.
Translator: See you later.
King Herald: Donna flurna badden lutefisk
Translator: Don’t eat any bad lutefisk.
King Herald: (mumbling) Urfda canna flu.
Translator: Like you can tell.
King Herald: Yerfa Timmerwolves!
Translator: Go Timberwolves.
King Herald: Yerfa Twina!
Translator: Go Twins.
King Herald: Yerfa Vikna!
Translator: Go Vikings.
King Herald: Yurfa finda furla norska, la furla finde furla, banga hoota dodem fadida, yuta kurta hurla veran fluta.
Translator: (long pause) Bye.